If I Ever Wanted to Make a Dishonest Dollar…

If you have ever looked for a job, ever thought about looking for a job, or even had a dream about looking for a job, you’ve probably woken up with an inbox filled with “I CAN FIND YOU A JOB IMMEDIATELY MAKING 2000000$ AN HOUR, JUST CASH THIS ACTUAL CHECK AND THEN GO TO JAIL BECAUSE IT’S FAKE!!! HA HA HA HA!!!!!”

It probably looked something like this:

Makin’ It RAIN!!!!

From: tilobinti samuel jaranti <t.sjaranti@yahoo.com>
Sent: Saturday, May 14, 2022 4:41 PM
To: sucker@sucker.sucker.com
Subject: Equal possibility for Sucker J

Good day Sucker J! Home based job for USA Lawful Permanent Residents only!

I am an HR specialist and I have found your resume through recruiting agency.

We are searching for a commodity package handler for a part-time position with our company. Job responsibilities include review of contents of the packages that will be delivered to your home or office address. You will also need to write a product review on our dashboard and then ship the product to the destination.

No special knowledge is required to work on this position. You just need to be a attentive, honest and responsible person.

Monthly pay will be in the range of 4000 to 5000 USD.

If you are interested in this position, please let me know about that in your reply, I will email you the details.

a

And they want your money (or something) so badly that they didn’t even bother to finish the danged thing!

Here’s another, but this doesn’t have to do with a job…I don’t know what it has to deal with!


From: Dr.Selby Alan <quangns.ct@ninhbinh.gov.vn>
Sent: Friday, May 27, 2022 7:11 AM
Subject: Business Proposal

Dear Friend

I wish to introduce myself to you, I am Selby Alan Keith a British, also a contract staff of an offshore bank (The Lloyds Bank Plc) London office. I am the head of the Audit Department. I am pleased to get across to
you for a very urgent and profitable business proposal which I believe will profit the both of us after completion. I contacted you after a careful thought that you might be capable of handling this business transaction, which I will explain below. The sum of £35,500,000.00GBP (Thirty Five Million Five Hundred Thousand Great British Pound Sterling) is floating unclaimed in my bank as all efforts to get across to the relatives of our client who deposited the money have hit the stones. There is this client Mr. Roger Ian Wright a US businessman, founder of a Sao Paulo-based investment company. On the 22nd of May 2009, Mr. Roger Ian Wright, his wife and his two children all died in a King Air B350 plane crash seaside resort town of Trancoso, in the state of Bahia.

All attempts to trace his next of kin were fruitless. My position here at my office requires me to investigate and provide the Next of Kin, I therefore made further investigations and discovered that Mr. Roger Ian Wright did not declare any next of kin or relation in all his official documents, including his bank deposit paperwork in my bank. According to the British Law the money will revert to the ownership of the British government after 10yrs if nobody applies to claim the fund. To prevent this from happening I have decided to seek your assistance to have you stand as his next of kin so that the said fund (£35.5 Million Great British Pounds), would be released in your name as the next of kin and paid into your account. All documents and proof that will have you claim this fund without stress will be forwarded to you upon your response to this mail.

I intend to share it 50% for you while 50% for me. I shall send you the details and necessary procedures with which to make the transfer to your bank account.

Should you be interested? Please send me your:

* Full names
* Private phone number
* Current residential address
* Occupation
* Age
* Sex.

Reach me via my e-mail ID: selbyalankth@gmail.com

Your immediate response will be appreciated.

Kind Regards,
Dr. Selby Alan Keith

It’s interesting that this has worked so well for so long…maybe I ought to get into this to get a new car!

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March Movie Madness & Mayhem, Day 31

The 5 Worst Monsters of the 1970s Horror Film

via The 5 Worst Monsters of the 1970s Horror Film – Flashbak

May as well end the month on a “list.” This time, it’s the 5 worst monsters of the 1970s…in horror. It’s from the folks at Flashbak, so you know it’s good. Enjoy, and make sure you watch the best worst movie you can think of this weekend. It’s been a pretty fun ride, but if I ever do this again, I will try to talk myself out of it.  Blogging is harder than I thought! 😉 But it was fun to add to my bad movie repertoire, and I may do it for the various Halloween blogathons that dot the interwebs. To quote one of the movies listed above, “Well…”

March Madness & Movie Mayhem, Day 29 (or, How to Catch a Killer for $13,000…)

via TEMPLE OF SCHLOCK: Zodiac Hunter: An Interview with Tom Hanson

An interesting interview with a fascinating man–you’ll get the ins and outs of making truly shoestring budgeted movies ($13,000 in 1971 still didn’t add up to much! To compare: The Three Stooges beat-em-to-the-punch short You Nazty Spy! cost 2-3 times as much in 1939 dollars!) You’ll also learn that they may have had the killer in their hands, but he slipped away. You’ll also get the ins and outs of running a pizza franchise! Enjoy, and also read the rest of the stuff at the Temple of Schlock.

March Madness & Movie Mayhem, Day 27 (or, How Ed Wood Isn’t the World’s Worst Director)

 

via Ed Wood: Not Actually The Worst Director in History | Den of Geek

How did Ed Wood get the title of “World’s Worst Director?”  (Then again, we’d also have to ask how William “One Shot” Beaudine was at least the runner-up, even though he was once a highly regarded director.) Of course, we can put most of the blame on the doorstep of the Medveds, who deemed Ed “the worst” with their Golden Turkey tome. I can only imagine that they hadn’t seen very many movies from the period they were in, because NONE of the Dolomite movies made the cut, but Trouble Man did?! Why not just throw Super Fly and Shaft in there too, since we’re complaining about blaxploitation films with kick-ass soundtracks…

Anyhoo, where was I going with this? Oh, that Ed Wood wasn’t the world’s worst director–far from it. I can name at least THREE worse directors off the top of my head: Bill Rebane/Herschell Gordon Lewis (Monster-A-Go-Go/Terror at Half Day); Larry Buchanan (Zontar: The Thing From Venus); Coleman Francis (all three of his films); Doris Wishman (Double Agent 73, Let Me Die a Woman); Ted V. Mikels (The Girl in Gold Boots, The Doll Squad)…the list is literally endless!

I think the problem lies with Ed Wood’s films being better than “so bad they’re good.” There’s something about Wood’s films, even the cringetastic Orgy of the Dead and The Revenge of Dr. X that makes them watchable. You’re not yelling at the screen at the stupidity of the writing. (The CLUNKINESS, maybe, but not the stupidity!)

Anyhoo, take a look around the site and enjoy the Den of Geek!

 

 

March Madness & Movie Mayhem, Day 26! Mr. No Legs – 1979 – Review

via Mr. No Legs – 1979 – Review

If you have lots of free time on your hands, take a look at the wonderful time-wasting site The Worst Movies Ever Made. Now, “worst” is in the eye of the beholder, but holy gee whiz…this one’s bad. Not even the ever-present John Agar or Richard Jaeckel can help this turkey. And when you finally get to see the title character, look out!

 

 

March Movie Madness & Mayhem, Day 24: Hagsploitation!

Hagsploitation: a term that I possibly just thought up or I stole it from someone else (but can’t remember who it was). Either way, it’s a term that usually brings to mind actresses “of a certain age,” like Joan Crawford, Bette Davis, Shelley Winters or even Debbie Reynolds (when she and Winters starred in What’s the Matter With Helen, she was all of 38 years old!)

However, hagsploitation wasn’t just for women—any time you saw an old vaudevillian like George Jessel in Won Ton Ton, the Dog Who Saved Hollywood, it was hagsploitation. Sure, it was said to be a cameo, but come on, we know what it was, and it was hagsploitation, pure and simple.

Now this may sound like I’m knocking older actors for appearing in films long past their “prime.” Come on—I’m a Stooge fan that wanted to see Howard, Sitka and DeRita in Blazing Stewardesses—I can hardly be called anti-hag! Interestingly, it was director Al Adamson’s leitmotif—giving older actors a chance to get in front of new audiences. Whether or not the vehicles used for that chance were any good or not…well, work is work!

Enjoy these sites and their reviews of hagsploitation films!

What’s the Matter With Helen? (1971) from Dreams Are What Le Cinema Is For… it’s got repressed lesbianism, murderous sons, and religious fundamentalism.

What's the Matter With Helen

Blazing Stewardesses (1975) from DVD Drive-In…

Blazing Stewardesses

Last but not least, Won Ton Ton, the Dog Who Saved Hollywood (1976), from The Aisle Seat…

Won Ton Ton

March MEAT Madness & (No) Movie Mayhem (Day 21!)

Womans-Day-October-23_1978-4-1200x822via Vintage Gristle: More Glistening Mounds of Mid-Century Meat – Flashbak

And now for something completely different–a look back at the world of vintage advertising! Whether it’s movies, or meat, retro ads had some…issues. I love meat as much as the next person (maybe more!) but looking at these ads…bring on the broccoli!

While you’re salivating over the meat, take a look at all the other stuff over at Flashbak!

March Movie Madness & Mayhem (Day 17!)

via Larry Buchanan | THE URANIUM CAFE

Zontar the thing from Venus

How ’bout a bit o’ the Irish with a look at Larry Buchanan? No bad movie blog can ignore the self-proclaimed Schlockmeister of Texas. With established stars like John “How did I get myself into this mess?” Agar and Tommy “Damn Disney–where was their LGBTQ love when I needed it?” Kirk.

No doubt about it—none of Buchanan’s films were any good. A few fell into the “so bad they’re good” category (Zontar—the Thing From Venus and Mars Needs Women), but the others (It’s Alive) comes to mind as being so bad that you end up hate watching them just for spite.

Take a gander at what The Uranium Café has to say about Der Schlockmeister and his movies!

 

 

Movie Madness & Mayhem (Day 16!)–Everybody Wants More D**k!

via The Wonderful and the Obscure

Now that I have your attention, I’d like to share with you a wonderful site that I’ve just found: The Wonderful and the Obscure. If you want to know more about what the music version of the b movie is, well…here you go!  We Want Richard Nixon

March Movie Madness & Mayhem (Days 10 and 14!) – The Last Drive In

via Doctor Death: Seeker of Souls 1973 – The Last Drive In

Well, how ’bout that?! Apparently, I skipped over day 10 in my “writings.” Meh, I’ll just kill two birds with one stone…but how? What two things can I cover in less than a thousand words that would cover my love of all things 1970s and the last films of famous folks?

Did someone ask for Doctor Death, Seeker of Souls? If you didn’t, too bad! There are no degrees of stoogeration here, because there’s an actual Stooge in it–one Moe Howard (credited as the man in the audience/volunteer). I’ve heard his cameo described as a dirty old man, but the man had been in vaudeville/burlesque! Who wouldn’t be a dirty old man (or woman) after that?! After you read about Doctor Death, check out all the other cool stuff at
The Last Drive In!