On Wednesday, Donald Trump gave a speech that included an outline of actions he’ll take on his first 100 days as President of the United States. Here, an imagined recreation of his early musings on the subject.
You know the ones–the ones that are proud to say that they don’t watch TV.
(Innocent person trying to make conversation) “So, how’d you like the (insert TV related thing here)?”
(Smug TV-free person) “I haven’t watched TV in years! I still don’t know who shot JR!”
I’m definitely not that, and if I’m ever that smug about something other than the Three Stooges being the best comedy team evar, I deserve to have (insert something quirky and non dangerous here).
No, I’m not buying a TV because I’m in no mood to yell “GO TO HELL!!!113!” every time a political commercial comes on. I don’t care if you have a D, R, I, or Z behind your name, I don’t want to hear your ad. I already can’t tell y’all apart, so your dirty tricks won’t work.
Thankfully, we live in an age where you can watch terrible movies (The Giant Spider Invasion, anyone?) at any time, why would you put up with attack ads? Besides, we all know who’s the best candidate for president!
THIS is the face of your next president. I don’t care if he’s never had any political aspirations, or the fact that I don’t know if he was liberal or conservative, or that he’s been dead longer than I’ve been alive, you can’t tell me that he’s any worse than the other folks running.
(How’s that for a run-on sentence?)
If you look at how the “candidates” are acting, it’s more like a Stooges short than you think.