If I Ever Wanted to Make a Dishonest Dollar…

If you have ever looked for a job, ever thought about looking for a job, or even had a dream about looking for a job, you’ve probably woken up with an inbox filled with “I CAN FIND YOU A JOB IMMEDIATELY MAKING 2000000$ AN HOUR, JUST CASH THIS ACTUAL CHECK AND THEN GO TO JAIL BECAUSE IT’S FAKE!!! HA HA HA HA!!!!!”

It probably looked something like this:

Makin’ It RAIN!!!!

From: tilobinti samuel jaranti <t.sjaranti@yahoo.com>
Sent: Saturday, May 14, 2022 4:41 PM
To: sucker@sucker.sucker.com
Subject: Equal possibility for Sucker J

Good day Sucker J! Home based job for USA Lawful Permanent Residents only!

I am an HR specialist and I have found your resume through recruiting agency.

We are searching for a commodity package handler for a part-time position with our company. Job responsibilities include review of contents of the packages that will be delivered to your home or office address. You will also need to write a product review on our dashboard and then ship the product to the destination.

No special knowledge is required to work on this position. You just need to be a attentive, honest and responsible person.

Monthly pay will be in the range of 4000 to 5000 USD.

If you are interested in this position, please let me know about that in your reply, I will email you the details.

a

And they want your money (or something) so badly that they didn’t even bother to finish the danged thing!

Here’s another, but this doesn’t have to do with a job…I don’t know what it has to deal with!


From: Dr.Selby Alan <quangns.ct@ninhbinh.gov.vn>
Sent: Friday, May 27, 2022 7:11 AM
Subject: Business Proposal

Dear Friend

I wish to introduce myself to you, I am Selby Alan Keith a British, also a contract staff of an offshore bank (The Lloyds Bank Plc) London office. I am the head of the Audit Department. I am pleased to get across to
you for a very urgent and profitable business proposal which I believe will profit the both of us after completion. I contacted you after a careful thought that you might be capable of handling this business transaction, which I will explain below. The sum of £35,500,000.00GBP (Thirty Five Million Five Hundred Thousand Great British Pound Sterling) is floating unclaimed in my bank as all efforts to get across to the relatives of our client who deposited the money have hit the stones. There is this client Mr. Roger Ian Wright a US businessman, founder of a Sao Paulo-based investment company. On the 22nd of May 2009, Mr. Roger Ian Wright, his wife and his two children all died in a King Air B350 plane crash seaside resort town of Trancoso, in the state of Bahia.

All attempts to trace his next of kin were fruitless. My position here at my office requires me to investigate and provide the Next of Kin, I therefore made further investigations and discovered that Mr. Roger Ian Wright did not declare any next of kin or relation in all his official documents, including his bank deposit paperwork in my bank. According to the British Law the money will revert to the ownership of the British government after 10yrs if nobody applies to claim the fund. To prevent this from happening I have decided to seek your assistance to have you stand as his next of kin so that the said fund (£35.5 Million Great British Pounds), would be released in your name as the next of kin and paid into your account. All documents and proof that will have you claim this fund without stress will be forwarded to you upon your response to this mail.

I intend to share it 50% for you while 50% for me. I shall send you the details and necessary procedures with which to make the transfer to your bank account.

Should you be interested? Please send me your:

* Full names
* Private phone number
* Current residential address
* Occupation
* Age
* Sex.

Reach me via my e-mail ID: selbyalankth@gmail.com

Your immediate response will be appreciated.

Kind Regards,
Dr. Selby Alan Keith

It’s interesting that this has worked so well for so long…maybe I ought to get into this to get a new car!

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On This Day in 1975…

Los_Angeles_Times__Friday__24_January_1975LA Times Larry Fine Death Notice

Elvis: 40 Years Later….

2St__Louis_Post_Dispatch_Wed__Aug_17__1977_

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, this is the 40th anniversary of the King of Rock and Roll’s death. Whether or not you thought he truly was the King (I think Little Richard, Ike Turner, Chuck Berry, Jerry Lee Lewis, and Johnny “Guitar” Watson should  be deemed Rock and Royalty too!) he had that extra “something” that made him, well, ELVIS!

I liked some of his stuff (Heartbreak Hotel, Jailhouse Rock, etc.) but the later stuff was waaaay better (Suspicious Minds, In the Ghetto, and yes, Burnin’ Love–also can’t forget A Little Less Conversation and If I Can Dream!) but there were some songs that fell through the cracks that were surprisingly good–there’s one…I think is called “And I Love You So” that was recorded live in 1973 at one concert or another that made me stop in my tracks. I could actually SEE what people were talking about when they said Elvis was a great singer/performer.

Okay, enough of that, here’s the rest of the recycled post from last year. Enjoy!

I could go over the fact that Presley made a lot of movies—pre Army = good; post Army = terrible, but what I’d like to focus on is what the main idea of this blog was supposed to be—a look at the last known films/performances/appearances of various celebrities.  With Elvis, we have a humdinger of an “IITLtID!” (If It’s the Last Thing I Do!); his June 26, 1977 performance at the Market Square Arena in Indianapolis. While not a sell-out (18,000 attended), there was enough energy and excitement from the crowd to make up for any empty seats.

 

Market Square Arena Indianapolis, IN
Where the final concert took place.

The setlist: (from http://www.oldies.about.com)

Also Spake Zarathustra (opening)
See See Rider
I Got A Woman/Amen
Love Me
Fairytale
You Gave Me A Mountain
Jailhouse Rock
O Sole Mio/It’s Now Or Never
Little Sister
Teddy Bear/Don’t Be Cruel
Release Me
I Can’t Stop Loving You
Bridge Over Troubled Water
(band introductions)
Early Morning Rain
What’d I Say
Johnny B. Goode
(solos by band members Larrie Londin: drums, Jerry Scheff: bass, Tony Brown: piano)
I Really Don’t Want To Know
(solo by the backing Joe Guercio Orchestra)
Hurt
Hound Dog
(Elvis introduces various people from the stage)
Can’t Help Falling In Love
(closing vamp)

The concert (via YouTube, of course!)

The Final Concert

…and that’s it. Enjoy!

 

 

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Now, I don’t know about you, but I know that I’m going to download the billionaire formula and tell my bosses to stick it where the sun don’t shine! Who’s with me?

NIAGARA FALLS!

Slowly I turn

“Good morning, this is Xyz at GimmeOurMoney, Inc.  We’re calling because you have an outstanding balance of $1200 for an EKG you had in November.”

“Yes, and as I explained in November, I could not and cannot now pay $1200.”

“Well, what do you make per month?”

“Nothing.”

“You don’t receive unemployment?”

“No.”

“So you have no income coming in?”

“No.”

“Do you qualify for Medicaid?”

“No.”

“But you don’t make any money!”

“Yes.”

“Have you tried to work something out with Los Arms Hospital?”

“Yes. I filled out paperwork to see if the bill could be decreased. It was $3000, now it’s $1200.  I stated that I couldn’t pay at the Billing Office in the hospital, and they stated that they’d send in paperwork to see if the amount could be forgiven. It wasn’t.”

“So you have no money coming in?”

“No.”

“How long have you been out of work?”

“Total? Nine months.”

“And you have NO money coming in?”

(Am I THAT hard to understand?  Is this yet someone else that thinks I’m from Germany, of all places?) “No, I have no money coming in.”

“So, we will need the entire amount paid today…”

“Wait–I told you I don’t have any money coming in, and any check I send you WILL bounce, and no, I don’t have any credit cards.” (I just knew she was going to ask me to charge it.)

“Well, we will have to turn it over to a collection agency…”

Ah, yes, the “NIAGARA FALLS” of anyone who’s looking for work–just say “collections,” and you see any possible employment float away…

“Whatever.”

“So, you’re paying?”

“Yes, but I can’t pay the whole amount!”

“Well, we can split it up into payments of $224.14 a month…”

“Do I have any choice?!”

“I’m sorry–”

“Whatever.  Checks are fine.”

(Five minutes later…)

“Now, is there something else you need, or-:

(PHONE SLAMS–I was on a landline.)

Was that the best way to deal with the situation? Of course not, but after said hospital said that they’d “work with me,” it made me wish that I’d never listened to doctors’ advice.  Hell, it’s been seven years since the last EKG–all I’ve had is a few dizzy spells, moments of confusion, a couple of seizures, and an almost life-threatening reaction to a beta blocker!  Pfft! Until I find a job with insurance (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) I shall do what the rest of my non-Obamacare, states that refuse to expand Medicaid brethren and sisteren do…

Wait until it’s really bad, then clog up the emergency rooms.