As I was scrolling through my feed instead of dealing with yet ANOTHER meeting (we just got back from spring break–we had a meeting then!), this wonderful entry from Balladeer’s Blog jumped out at me like a like a big-ass Bible that’s been hastily repurposed as a storybook.
Look, I could tell you about how crazy the whole damn “movie” is, but why should I do it when you can read it from a much better blogger than I? Just don’t forget to live high on the hog in the witness protection program…
https://d2rights.blogspot.com/2012/04/three-stooges-vs-zombies-well-zombie.html
Welp, never let it be said that great minds don’t think alike (and weaken nations)! While perusing one of my favorite sites, I’d noticed an article I KNOW I’ve never read before, “The Three Stooges versus Zombies.” Now, whenever I hear the word “zombie,” I cannot help but think of the fab five from Hertsfordshire (also known as one of the more innovative British Invasion bands).
But how can I link my favorite comedy team to my favorite musical group? Let’s see,,,The Zombies were featured in a pretty damn good movie Bunny Lake Is Missing directed by one Otto Preminger. Their appearance consisted of a TV performance that was playing in a bar whilst Laurence Olivier (yeah, THAT guy) is trying to figure things out about the titular Bunny Lake and what the deal is between her mother and brother. (I may be a bit off on the details–I saw it on VIDEOTAPE! Why haven’t I come into the 21st century and Amazon Prime’d it?!)
So how can we connect The Zombies to The Three Stooges? (Besides the fact that The Zombies are still touring at the grand ages of 79-80! (I would’ve KILLED to have the Stooges last that long…I would’ve been around to see them on various talk shows, instead of begging my parents to recall what it was like to see them on the Ed Sullivan Show, the Steve Allen Show {one of those appearances was with none other than Lenny Bruce…the only way that could’ve made for a more mis-matched pairing would be if Richard Pryor dropped by.})
Okay…where was I? Who’s the best actor to use as a connection? We have Laurence Olivier, who was married to Vivien Leigh, who starred in Gone With the Wind, which also featured Academy Award winner Hattie McDaniel, who’s brother Sam McDaniel starred in Heavenly Daze (1947) as a butler that thought Shemp had risen from the dead and was haunting Moe and Larry due to the fact that they were going to scam investors with a fountain pen that writes under whipped cream (needless to say, it doesn’t work.)
Looks like I could connect Laurence Olivier to the Three Stooges at least! That makes me wonder how many ways I can connect John and David Carradine to the Stooges…I’m thinking it’s pretty damned easy!
Welcome to one of my laziest posts of the season…which is fitting because this is one of the laziest subjects/videos I’ve seen in a WHILE (and I’ve been watching AI-created videos that sound everything out phonetically!) How is it lazy? Let me count the ways…
Anyhoo–this is a lazy post for a lazy video. Enjoy!
Gather your courage, dim the lights, and bask in the glory of seeing Joe Besser in a chapter of Trash Cinema Hagsploitation!
As I have mentioned many times before, I recall hearing the news that Joe DeRita had died during a commercial break (while watching the Stooges, ironically enough)! I still don’t get the hate folks aim his way–I imagine I wouldn’t feel that great knowing that I was going to be renamed Curly-Joe; but I don’t think he “hated” the Stooges, he just didn’t like their style of comedy–and I can agree to disagree with him about it. Remember, this was a man who had had a career waaaay before he became a Stooge, so it was not like they got Joe Blow from Kokomo to be the Third Stooge. He had a name (in burlesque, no less), and being a “replacement” just because you were short, and fat (like the most popular stooge) would kinda suck. What did not suck, however, was the fact that Larry wanted him as a FULL partner, not just an “employee,” meaning he would get the same salary, the same benefits, the same everything. Now, whoever was the person who wanted him first (the story goes Larry saw him in Vegas and called him a “combination of Curly, Lou Costello, and the fat lady in the opera.”) However, in Moe’s autobiography, he had wanted him even after Shemp died (and wanted to buy out his contract with Minsky–look that one up, kids!) but of course, Columbia wanted whomever they still had under contract (even though they DID have DeRita under contract…once upon a time.)
Things were going like gangbusters until the late 1960s, with the kids from the 1950s growing into teens who probably wanted to go on to someone hipper… (uh, Tiny Tim?) their popularity was waning, and they decided to semi-retire, but not without their infamous swan song, Kook’s Tour. Now, when Tour was first thought of, it was 1965 and it was supposed to be a world tour by a trio of kooks. In 1970, ain’t nobody got time for gallivanting around the world and whatnot. Instead, they chose to stay closer to home…and go fishing… (insert some fans’ yawning sfx here).
What I’m NOT going to do is go into all the reasons why Kook’s Tour is supposedly the worst (or best) thing since sliced bread, but I will tell you that if another film they were set to do had been their actual swan song, I don’t even know how to describe all the feelings I’d have about it. Let me put it this way: if you are a fan of “so bad it’s good” films, then you know who Al Adamson and Sam Sherman are. As the story goes, Sherman and Adamson wanted to make a western spoof with olde-timey comedians they were fans of…and of course, the first team that came to mind was the Three Stooges. But there was a problem…by late 1974, there were only two Stooges, Moe and Curly-Joe. By the time rehearsals began in March, Larry had already been dead for over a month. So, what to do for the necessary Second Stooge?
Have no fear, Emil Sitka is here! He had been in Stooge films since the Curly era, was one of only two actors that had performed with ALL the different sets of Stooges (the other was “Tiny” Brauer), so there would be no need for lengthy rehearsals. As Sitka himself remembers it, “If Moe were here right now, he’d say we could create a scene right now” (paraphrased).
Unfortunately, The Jet Set (later called Blazing Stewardesses) was not to be. As the rehearsals progressed, Moe became weaker and weaker due to lung (or stomach) cancer and passed away on 4 May 1975. Apparently, Adamson and Sherman didn’t want the Two Stooges, so guess what they came up with?
The damn TWO Ritz Brothers! What was the difference between having two of one trio or two of another? Hell, if that’s the case, they could’ve dragged out Groucho and Zeppo if we want to have former trios that are now duos.
Okay, granted, there weren’t that many olde-timey comedy teams still around that could work with little rehearsal, hit their marks, and not cause the film to go over budget. So, if you want to see what could’ve been the Stooges’ last film, you can watch it over on the YouTubes,
via Drive-In Theater Memories: Vintage Ads & Marquees – Flashbak
Remember the “good old days” at the drive-in? Yeah, me neither. Apparently, I’ve BEEN to one, but was too young to remember. That would’ve been 1976, so the tail end of the blaxploitation era and the time before home video would make drive-ins moot. Enjoy the memories (or not!) from Flashbak!
via TEMPLE OF SCHLOCK: Zodiac Hunter: An Interview with Tom Hanson
An interesting interview with a fascinating man–you’ll get the ins and outs of making truly shoestring budgeted movies ($13,000 in 1971 still didn’t add up to much! To compare: The Three Stooges beat-em-to-the-punch short You Nazty Spy! cost 2-3 times as much in 1939 dollars!) You’ll also learn that they may have had the killer in their hands, but he slipped away. You’ll also get the ins and outs of running a pizza franchise! Enjoy, and also read the rest of the stuff at the Temple of Schlock.
via Ed Wood: Not Actually The Worst Director in History | Den of Geek
How did Ed Wood get the title of “World’s Worst Director?” (Then again, we’d also have to ask how William “One Shot” Beaudine was at least the runner-up, even though he was once a highly regarded director.) Of course, we can put most of the blame on the doorstep of the Medveds, who deemed Ed “the worst” with their Golden Turkey tome. I can only imagine that they hadn’t seen very many movies from the period they were in, because NONE of the Dolomite movies made the cut, but Trouble Man did?! Why not just throw Super Fly and Shaft in there too, since we’re complaining about blaxploitation films with kick-ass soundtracks…
Anyhoo, where was I going with this? Oh, that Ed Wood wasn’t the world’s worst director–far from it. I can name at least THREE worse directors off the top of my head: Bill Rebane/Herschell Gordon Lewis (Monster-A-Go-Go/Terror at Half Day); Larry Buchanan (Zontar: The Thing From Venus); Coleman Francis (all three of his films); Doris Wishman (Double Agent 73, Let Me Die a Woman); Ted V. Mikels (The Girl in Gold Boots, The Doll Squad)…the list is literally endless!
I think the problem lies with Ed Wood’s films being better than “so bad they’re good.” There’s something about Wood’s films, even the cringetastic Orgy of the Dead and The Revenge of Dr. X that makes them watchable. You’re not yelling at the screen at the stupidity of the writing. (The CLUNKINESS, maybe, but not the stupidity!)
Anyhoo, take a look around the site and enjoy the Den of Geek!
via Mr. No Legs – 1979 – Review
If you have lots of free time on your hands, take a look at the wonderful time-wasting site The Worst Movies Ever Made. Now, “worst” is in the eye of the beholder, but holy gee whiz…this one’s bad. Not even the ever-present John Agar or Richard Jaeckel can help this turkey. And when you finally get to see the title character, look out!
Hagsploitation: a term that I possibly just thought up or I stole it from someone else (but can’t remember who it was). Either way, it’s a term that usually brings to mind actresses “of a certain age,” like Joan Crawford, Bette Davis, Shelley Winters or even Debbie Reynolds (when she and Winters starred in What’s the Matter With Helen, she was all of 38 years old!)
However, hagsploitation wasn’t just for women—any time you saw an old vaudevillian like George Jessel in Won Ton Ton, the Dog Who Saved Hollywood, it was hagsploitation. Sure, it was said to be a cameo, but come on, we know what it was, and it was hagsploitation, pure and simple.
Now this may sound like I’m knocking older actors for appearing in films long past their “prime.” Come on—I’m a Stooge fan that wanted to see Howard, Sitka and DeRita in Blazing Stewardesses—I can hardly be called anti-hag! Interestingly, it was director Al Adamson’s leitmotif—giving older actors a chance to get in front of new audiences. Whether or not the vehicles used for that chance were any good or not…well, work is work!
Enjoy these sites and their reviews of hagsploitation films!
What’s the Matter With Helen? (1971) from Dreams Are What Le Cinema Is For… it’s got repressed lesbianism, murderous sons, and religious fundamentalism.
Blazing Stewardesses (1975) from DVD Drive-In…
Last but not least, Won Ton Ton, the Dog Who Saved Hollywood (1976), from The Aisle Seat…
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