DREAMS ARE WHAT LE CINEMA IS FOR…: MOMMIE DEAREST 1981

Source: DREAMS ARE WHAT LE CINEMA IS FOR…: MOMMIE DEAREST 1981

I know, I know…yet another day without the Flesh Feast review. But I have a good excuse! I’ve been bingeing on this new blog I found, and I think I’ve found another (yes, ANOTHER!) influence on how/where/what I want Six Degrees of Stoogeration to be. Ironically, the subject is Joan Crawford, who the Stooges (then known as Ted Healy and His Stooges) shared the screen with in Dancing Lady (1933). The subject is the camp classic Mommie Dearest (1981), which I vaguely remember being in the theatres. At least I remember all the jokes comedians made.

Years later, I saw the film on TV and I didn’t get what the deal was. I knew OF Joan Crawford, and what I knew, didn’t seem that much different than what was on the screen. Faye Dunaway’s performance didn’t seem to warrant the brickbats the Razzie folks were raining upon her. I mean, look at the damn woman in any film past 1950. You can’t NOT imagine that that’s a drag queen. Go ahead, I dare you! I’ve seen Dancing Lady multiple times, and I cannot reconcile the Joan Crawford I see there with the Joan Crawford of 1967’s Berserk! It’s not just age–in fact, age doesn’t even enter into it. Bette Davis aged in Stooge Years ™, yet didn’t quite seem to be the garish whirlwind of WTF?! that Crawford was. Everything seemed so EXAGGERATED. The eyebrows. The hair, oh sweet Jesus THE HAIR! If Elizabeth Taylor could keep her hair dark most of her life, why in the world did Joan, er, Miss Crawford, scald our eyeballs with such monstrosities as that “Old Lady Red” deal she had in Trog (1970)? WHO THOUGHT THAT THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA?!

Now, what was I talking about? Oh, Mommie Dearest and the fact that it seems more true than not…at least with Miss Crawford’s larger than life personality. Maybe it’s just me, but there was a lot in the film that rang true. Joan did seem like she would say “Don’t fuck with me fellas!”

Let me get back to the subject of this blog–it’s more than your snarky run down of Z movies…it’s that, but it’s more–it’s a personal insight on what makes movies tick for him, it’s essays that “spoil” the movie (which I love), and the comments! Oh, the comments! Such comments I’ve not seen since the olden days of the internet/sitting around with my piano teacher! Knowledgeable folks who’ve often rubbed shoulders with the subject/stars of the film, it’s hard not to get lost in reading the comments and fall down the YouTube/Google hole of finding out more.

I’ve rambled long enough (when I could’ve been writing about Veronica Lake and FloridaNazispoitation!)

Ken Anderson’s http://lecinemadreams.blogspot.com! You won’t regret it!

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Could YOU Get a Job With No Experience?

As you know, there’s been an election, an inauguration, and several press conferences with our new president. If he was analyzed as a hiring manager would analyze you, chances are he wouldn’t even have gotten in the door due to the other, more experienced job seekers (I’m talking about ALL the candidates, so don’t even try it with the “BLAH COULD’VE WON! I ain’t here for that!)

I’ve gone on soooo many interviews. Some were great! Some were terrible! A lot were meh. A few (approximately 3-4) were uber-excellent and felt like I was already in that job. Feeling and being are two different things. Only one of the uber-excellent interviews led to a job, so even though the interviewer has positive things to say, there’s always going to be that other person who may be better, may look better, may appeal to the hiring people more, etc. (Yes, we’re getting into a whole netherworld of “Did I not get hired just because someone didn’t like me?!” but you’re adults. Sometimes you don’t get the job you’re the best fit for. If you’ve got proof of questionable hiring practices, then get on it. If you’ve got nothing, well, that’s life in the big city. Suck it up and keep going.)

I bring this up because if I were a hiring manager, there’s no way in the WORLD I would’ve let our president get further than File 13. Before you say, “Libtard,” I’mma shut you up right now. You would have to be blind, deaf, mentally deficient, and insane to think that the various rantings of the world’s worst winner make a great president, no matter the party. From the least anti-Semite to the all blacks know each other and the broken record that is Hillary, the blame game, Obama, and “I have the most electoral votes EVER!” (How he ignored Reagan’s thorough CRUSHING of Mondale, I don’t know.); Trump (or as I like to call him, The Loaded 45) is just not fit to handle…some things. Two state solution? Meh, they’ll work it out. (??!!!) Did you hear about how many votes I got! I still think I got more–we should investigate! No, I’ve never been to Russia. (Shown photos of visits to Russia). FAKE NEWS!

Am I saying we should have a “do-over” (like sooooo many others are saying)? Of course not. We broke it, we bought it. We should have to wallow in our accident on the carpet for all four (or eight!) years, because, well…remember how successful the whole “birther” movement was in removing Obama? Yeah.

No, we are stuck with a testy man child for at least 4 years. So no matter if you think the Russians put him in office; he has ties to the Russian Mafia; is suffering from end-stage syphilitic brain swelling from his sex tours to Vietnam; is a draft dodger (hey, it’s Bill Clinton!); is a rapist/womanizer/serial cheater (hey, it’s Bill Clinton!); is full of crap (hey, it’s … you get the idea).

So unless you come up with a Watergate, Contragate, Monicagate, or Rosneft…gate (they’re trying!) America will do what America does best: bitch out the other side for being horrible. Well, the joke’s on you–YOU’RE ALL TERRIBLE! (But like Animal Farm, some terrible is worse than other terrible…sometimes.)

Fine For President! Don’t blame me, I voted for Larry Fine!

Top 10 Blog Monetization Strategies, Ranked In Order (2016 Edition) – Blog Marketing Academy

An overview of the top 10 blog monetization strategies, ranked in their order of what works. Updated for 2016.

Source: Top 10 Blog Monetization Strategies, Ranked In Order (2016 Edition) – Blog Marketing Academy

(aka: So, You’d Like to Make Money With a Blog You’ve Half-Assed Since Forever…)

Would YOU like to make money? Sure, who wouldn’t? I’ve got various domains and websites (I guess, I don’t know…) out there to “monetize” my “brand.” As of today, 18/10/16, I’ve made approximately bupkis with said sites.

Well, all that’s going to change! Taking my cue from the great Yinzerella, I’m going to begin the journey to monetizing my knowledge!

(Hold for laughter.)

Hey, don’t laugh! I live in a country where anyone, and I mean ANYONE, can run for President! Don’t count me out!

 

A Fine Choice For President!

Some guy I’ve never heard of (you probably haven’t, either) was born (kinda) on this day in 1902.*

(He was actually born on September 5, 1902, but for some reason, he–and his siblings–thought that his birthday was in October. He didn’t even find out until he had to use a birth certificate to obtain a passport!)

Anyway, here’s the guy you’ve never seen, but should TOTALLY run for president…even if he’s been dead for 41 years!

larry-fine-2

Donald Trump: The President We Truly Deserve?

Criswell 1…that

this gentleman will be our next president! Trump Republican 1989 Quote…because he isn’t as dumb as we’d like to think.

(Paid for by the Committee to Elect Larry Fine President. Ima Chiseler, Treasurer.)

Loose Lips Sink Ships (and Employment!)

Loose Lips Sink Ships

Today begins my 2.5 (or so) month anniversary at my super-secret assignment. Before November 30, I had gone through roughly 8 months of unemployment (er, being between between engagements), largely due to a “joke” I made to someone during an assignment I’d gotten in April (only a week and a half after the ASSIGNMENT FROM HELL!!!!111!)

She asked what me what my plans were, where I’d applied, what I want to do with the rest of my life (she also made a crack about “Don’t you want a real job, instead of temping? No, of course not! I just LOOOOOOVE the extra special feeling of uncertainty that temping can bring, so thanks for asking!) I stated that I’d taken my civil service exams three years in a row (90, 94, and 95 so far!), but I was waiting to hear back about any possible interviews (make note of that word…interviews. You don’t get job offers, you get job interview offers). Anyhoo, I make the “joke,” and since we were the only two people in the whole room, I feel safe in assuming that she was the one that blabbed to the manager, and of course, I was called in and questioned about it. I stated that no, I had no offers from anyone, no interviews, no prospects, no nothing. She didn’t believe me, and of course, she had a conference to go to in the Catskills, Ozarks, Brokeback Mountains, whatever, so I didn’t get a chance to speak my peace.

Of course, I received a call from the recruiter, asking me what I’d said. Again, I simply told her I’d made a joke about the slowness of the Civil Service and how you’re placed on a waiting list just for the possibility even getting an interview. The recruiter stated that it’d be best to keep my cards close to my vest (hell, I didn’t have any cards, nor did I have a vest) but I feel that I must thank you, yes, you, Ms. Meghan Vault, from the bottom of my apparently job-filled heart for extending my unemployment (er, between engagements) FOR EIGHT OF THE WORST MONTHS THAT I HAVE EVER, AND I MEAN EVER, EXPERIENCED! Worse than pneumonia. They were worse than the flu. They were worse than double pneumonia. They were worse than the time I was on Toprol XL and it gave me seizures. It was worse than the time I was on Benicar and was feverish, achy, and nauseous for the last two semesters of that job in my other life. In short, Ms. Vault, loose lips sink ships. Or in my case, sink employment. I know that you probably won’t read this unless you Google your name, but I cannot let this go any longer—getting it out on the page makes me feel a little better. (It’s similar to when a huge SUV is suddenly bearing down upon you as the driver’s looking down at a phone and stuffing his mouth with fries. Honking the horn does little good, but it makes you feel better.)

I’m not Nixon, so you’re not on my “Enemies List.” Just make sure that when a co-worker tells you something, don’t go blabbing it to all and sundry before you get your facts straight, okay?

Thanks!