March Madness & Movie Mayhem, Day 26! Mr. No Legs – 1979 – Review

http://%20www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLBUc7h1muY%20

via Mr. No Legs – 1979 – Review

If you have lots of free time on your hands, take a look at the wonderful time-wasting site The Worst Movies Ever Made. Now, “worst” is in the eye of the beholder, but holy gee whiz…this one’s bad. Not even the ever-present John Agar or Richard Jaeckel can help this turkey. And when you finally get to see the title character, look out!

 

 

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March Madness & Movie Mayhem (Day 12!)

Double Agent 73

via Doris Wishman • Great Director profile • Senses of Cinema

I guess this is Day 12–did I post anything for yesterday (or Saturday? Better check that out…)

Anyhoo, here’s a look at the main reason why I’m even DOING this type of thing, one Doris Wishman. Her movies aren’t just movies…they’re experiences. Take a good look at Deadly Weapons or Double Agent 73, her double feature starring actress Chesty Morgan. They have to be seen to be believed, and you WILL NOT get the soundtracks out of your head. Seriously, I can run through the soundtracks of both films in my head, beat for beat!

How does this relate to Six Degrees of Stoogeration? Come on–there’s got to be a link somewhere! Anyhoo redux, take a look around the site, it’s got plenty of great info, not just about Ms. Wishman, but much, much more!

 

All I Wanted to Do…

…was get a little more information about the old Bond’s department store in St. Louis. What I got was a list of reasons why downtown St. Louis has disappeared. (Hint: “Negroes.”)

Meh. I’m a swarthy Jewess. I’ve heard/seen/been called worse. So I read on.

Oh, Lord: the Obamas official portraits, created by members of the Black Panthers, those people that kidnapped Patty Hearst, and (insert person that causes “conservatives” to clutch their pearls.)

I can’t even with this any more. Reading these “memories” of downtown St. Louis being a crime-free Wunderland? It’s hilarious!

Find more at: The Thinking (??) Housewife!

 

 

DREAMS ARE WHAT LE CINEMA IS FOR…: MOMMIE DEAREST 1981

Source: DREAMS ARE WHAT LE CINEMA IS FOR…: MOMMIE DEAREST 1981

I know, I know…yet another day without the Flesh Feast review. But I have a good excuse! I’ve been bingeing on this new blog I found, and I think I’ve found another (yes, ANOTHER!) influence on how/where/what I want Six Degrees of Stoogeration to be. Ironically, the subject is Joan Crawford, who the Stooges (then known as Ted Healy and His Stooges) shared the screen with in Dancing Lady (1933). The subject is the camp classic Mommie Dearest (1981), which I vaguely remember being in the theatres. At least I remember all the jokes comedians made.

Years later, I saw the film on TV and I didn’t get what the deal was. I knew OF Joan Crawford, and what I knew, didn’t seem that much different than what was on the screen. Faye Dunaway’s performance didn’t seem to warrant the brickbats the Razzie folks were raining upon her. I mean, look at the damn woman in any film past 1950. You can’t NOT imagine that that’s a drag queen. Go ahead, I dare you! I’ve seen Dancing Lady multiple times, and I cannot reconcile the Joan Crawford I see there with the Joan Crawford of 1967’s Berserk! It’s not just age–in fact, age doesn’t even enter into it. Bette Davis aged in Stooge Years ™, yet didn’t quite seem to be the garish whirlwind of WTF?! that Crawford was. Everything seemed so EXAGGERATED. The eyebrows. The hair, oh sweet Jesus THE HAIR! If Elizabeth Taylor could keep her hair dark most of her life, why in the world did Joan, er, Miss Crawford, scald our eyeballs with such monstrosities as that “Old Lady Red” deal she had in Trog (1970)? WHO THOUGHT THAT THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA?!

Now, what was I talking about? Oh, Mommie Dearest and the fact that it seems more true than not…at least with Miss Crawford’s larger than life personality. Maybe it’s just me, but there was a lot in the film that rang true. Joan did seem like she would say “Don’t fuck with me fellas!”

Let me get back to the subject of this blog–it’s more than your snarky run down of Z movies…it’s that, but it’s more–it’s a personal insight on what makes movies tick for him, it’s essays that “spoil” the movie (which I love), and the comments! Oh, the comments! Such comments I’ve not seen since the olden days of the internet/sitting around with my piano teacher! Knowledgeable folks who’ve often rubbed shoulders with the subject/stars of the film, it’s hard not to get lost in reading the comments and fall down the YouTube/Google hole of finding out more.

I’ve rambled long enough (when I could’ve been writing about Veronica Lake and FloridaNazispoitation!)

Ken Anderson’s http://lecinemadreams.blogspot.com! You won’t regret it!

Jungle Hell | Jabootu’s Bad Movie Dimension

Source: Jungle Hell | Jabootu’s Bad Movie Dimension

This, as well as Andrew Borntreger’s badmovies.org (I’ll do an entry on that site too, trust me!) are my go-to sites for bad movie dissection. I love Jabootu because of Mr. Begg’s long-windedness (that’s a plus!) as well as his historical input–you want to know WHY Doris Wishman’s movies are so terrible? You’ll get some history here! You want to know why “Jungle Hell” is so terrible? Oh, you’ll find out!

I have seen this movie–or some movie just like it, 30+ years ago after the Stooges and Bizarre had gone off for the night. I believe this was double billed with “Picture Mommy Dead,” but it may have been a rare TRIPLE bill, because I also remember it being around Easter 1985, and “Billy the Kid vs. Dracula” playing around the same time. Oh, how I miss the olden days of KPLR and their late-night line up! Between (the then) KMOX-TV’s Bijou and The Late Show, and KDNL’s All Night at the Movies (I think?), you had your fill of bad movie goodness!

I miss the 80s…they weren’t as good as I remember the 70s being, but then again, I don’t really remember much of the 70s…

 

Film Noir Blonde — Black & White and Chic All Over

Black & White and Chic All Over

Source: Film Noir Blonde — Black & White and Chic All Over

From now until 1 April (or whenever I decide to start it!) I’m blogging about blogs that analyze film. Whether it’s “good” film (you’ll find no Al Adamson here!), or so-good-it’s-bad (THAT’S where you’ll find Mr. Adamson!), I’m picking blogs that I’ve read (like Jabootu), or completely new ones (like this!)

Turns out that it’s not as easy as it seems to crank out a “Bad Movie” blog!

Could YOU Get a Job With No Experience?

As you know, there’s been an election, an inauguration, and several press conferences with our new president. If he was analyzed as a hiring manager would analyze you, chances are he wouldn’t even have gotten in the door due to the other, more experienced job seekers (I’m talking about ALL the candidates, so don’t even try it with the “BLAH COULD’VE WON! I ain’t here for that!)

I’ve gone on soooo many interviews. Some were great! Some were terrible! A lot were meh. A few (approximately 3-4) were uber-excellent and felt like I was already in that job. Feeling and being are two different things. Only one of the uber-excellent interviews led to a job, so even though the interviewer has positive things to say, there’s always going to be that other person who may be better, may look better, may appeal to the hiring people more, etc. (Yes, we’re getting into a whole netherworld of “Did I not get hired just because someone didn’t like me?!” but you’re adults. Sometimes you don’t get the job you’re the best fit for. If you’ve got proof of questionable hiring practices, then get on it. If you’ve got nothing, well, that’s life in the big city. Suck it up and keep going.)

I bring this up because if I were a hiring manager, there’s no way in the WORLD I would’ve let our president get further than File 13. Before you say, “Libtard,” I’mma shut you up right now. You would have to be blind, deaf, mentally deficient, and insane to think that the various rantings of the world’s worst winner make a great president, no matter the party. From the least anti-Semite to the all blacks know each other and the broken record that is Hillary, the blame game, Obama, and “I have the most electoral votes EVER!” (How he ignored Reagan’s thorough CRUSHING of Mondale, I don’t know.); Trump (or as I like to call him, The Loaded 45) is just not fit to handle…some things. Two state solution? Meh, they’ll work it out. (??!!!) Did you hear about how many votes I got! I still think I got more–we should investigate! No, I’ve never been to Russia. (Shown photos of visits to Russia). FAKE NEWS!

Am I saying we should have a “do-over” (like sooooo many others are saying)? Of course not. We broke it, we bought it. We should have to wallow in our accident on the carpet for all four (or eight!) years, because, well…remember how successful the whole “birther” movement was in removing Obama? Yeah.

No, we are stuck with a testy man child for at least 4 years. So no matter if you think the Russians put him in office; he has ties to the Russian Mafia; is suffering from end-stage syphilitic brain swelling from his sex tours to Vietnam; is a draft dodger (hey, it’s Bill Clinton!); is a rapist/womanizer/serial cheater (hey, it’s Bill Clinton!); is full of crap (hey, it’s … you get the idea).

So unless you come up with a Watergate, Contragate, Monicagate, or Rosneft…gate (they’re trying!) America will do what America does best: bitch out the other side for being horrible. Well, the joke’s on you–YOU’RE ALL TERRIBLE! (But like Animal Farm, some terrible is worse than other terrible…sometimes.)

Fine For President! Don’t blame me, I voted for Larry Fine!