Bad Movie Night — Site of the Week (or, 18 Years on the Internet is Like 30 Years of Real Life…)

Source: Bad Movie Night — Site of the Week

There’s nothing I like better than a “links” page. Someone has (thankfully!) done all the work for me in finding more great b-movie sites so I won’t have to. That’s all fine and good until you run up against one like this.

Obviously, 1999 is a million years ago in website years (it’s also the year I started using Amazon to feed my bad movie appetite), so it’s no surprise that most of these sites are gone. But it is neat to see the few that are still up and around. Go on, take a trip back in time!

Thrilling Days of Yesteryear: Where’s the Rest of Me: Accidents Will Happen (1938)

Clinton Rosemond

Source: Thrilling Days of Yesteryear: Where’s the Rest of Me: Accidents Will Happen (1938)

I came for the wonderfully funny skewerings of Mayberry RFD and The Doris Day Show (a favorite of mine…when I was 4) and stayed for the great reviews for movies I tend to stay away from (review-wise). You see, Mr. Ivan G. Shreve doesn’t deal in the “glories” of 1970s schlock (unless it’s the Doris Day Show…zing!), but the more neglected (and unknown) films and shorts of the 1930s and 40s. (I take that back–he’s blogged on Seconds [1966]!!!! If you haven’t seen that film, DO IT IMMEDIATELY!)

 

Every 70s Movie, or Could I Do This EVERYDAY?!

The Best, The Worst, The Weirdest And Every Far-Out Thing In Between

Source: Every 70s Movie

COULD I do this every day? Could I make myself sit down and watch the worst of the worst films of my favorite era (the 1970s!) every.day?

I’d like to think I could, but then I do things like forget to take my (quite important!) heart medicine last night, then wonder why I can’t walk as fast as I usually do. (Duh!)

But I think (THINK!) I could do this, at least for a short time, when this assignment comes to an end. Nothing but me, bad movies, and an exercise bike. (I’ve got to do something while watching this cinematic madness!)

(By the way, this is another influence on the upcoming Six Degrees of Stoogeration site!)

Don’t Worry, I Thought of a Title!

220px-Naztyspy_lobby

For some strange reason, I had an urge to watch You Nazty Spy! last night. Who knows what could’ve drawn me to that particular short (in which an incompetent boob is chosen to run a country) last night of all nights. Call it intuition, if you will.

That’s all I have to say. Oh, there’s this wonderful quote:

(Moe) Hailstone: “What does a dictator do?”

Ixnay: “A dictator? Why, he makes love to beautiful women, drinks champagne, enjoys life and never works. He makes speeches to the people, promising them plenty, gives them nothing, then takes everything! That‘s a dictator!”

(Curly) Pebble: “Hmmm! A parasite! That’s for me!”

Jungle Hell | Jabootu’s Bad Movie Dimension

Source: Jungle Hell | Jabootu’s Bad Movie Dimension

This, as well as Andrew Borntreger’s badmovies.org (I’ll do an entry on that site too, trust me!) are my go-to sites for bad movie dissection. I love Jabootu because of Mr. Begg’s long-windedness (that’s a plus!) as well as his historical input–you want to know WHY Doris Wishman’s movies are so terrible? You’ll get some history here! You want to know why “Jungle Hell” is so terrible? Oh, you’ll find out!

I have seen this movie–or some movie just like it, 30+ years ago after the Stooges and Bizarre had gone off for the night. I believe this was double billed with “Picture Mommy Dead,” but it may have been a rare TRIPLE bill, because I also remember it being around Easter 1985, and “Billy the Kid vs. Dracula” playing around the same time. Oh, how I miss the olden days of KPLR and their late-night line up! Between (the then) KMOX-TV’s Bijou and The Late Show, and KDNL’s All Night at the Movies (I think?), you had your fill of bad movie goodness!

I miss the 80s…they weren’t as good as I remember the 70s being, but then again, I don’t really remember much of the 70s…

 

Grapefruit 45 Diet Pill Made Two of the Oddest Infomercials of the 1980s – Infomercial Hell

Source: Grapefruit 45 Diet Pill Made Two of the Oddest Infomercials of the 1980s – Infomercial Hell

As a wee tot in the early 80s, I remember a LOT of weird diet pill/food/program commercials (which usually aired during Donahue [Google that, kids!] and KPLR’s 12:30 Movie [Google that too–TV stations used to air MOVIES during the day!]) There was the infamous AYDS diet candy (which I would SWEAR I saw in Walgreens in the early 90s!), sauna suits, black beauties, and yes, the ever-present Grapefruit Diet.

I never understood why grapefruit was supposed to be this great weight loss aid–and why you usually saw dieters sadly poking at their grapefruit halves after piling on the Sweet n’ Low. I LOVE grapefruit, but I wouldn’t consider it a way to weight loss (that title belongs to liquor!)

Anyhoo, this site has been making me laugh since I found it yesterday. Check it out and see how many infamous infomercials you remember!

The 6th Grade Talent Show

Change this to 1986 and the midwest, and you’ve got my (almost) exact experience in talent shows. Except I twirled a baton to a 45 (look it up kids!) Stac(e)y Lattisaw’s “Dynamite.” (Look her up too, kids!)

Knocked Over By A Feather

My 6th grade class of fellow Catholic schoolkids were having a talent show.

In order to be a part of a talent show, one would have to have some sort of talent to offer.

Well, just as 42-year-old me lacks any discernible talent, such was the same plight for 11-year-old me.

I couldn’t sing, dance, act, and my juggling wasn’t quite ready for an audience yet. My sense of humor was still in the beginning stages of development, so a stand-up comedy routine was a no-go.

I could have written a poem to read, but imagine the booing that I would have gotten from a bunch of judgmental preteens.

They were all dicks.

I had a friend back then, her name was Sue. We were really close that year, best friends, and all of that. She wanted to do something together for the talent show, despite my fearful protests.

We…

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