My First 100 Days as President 

Trump Troll For President 2016!

On Wednesday, Donald Trump gave a speech that included an outline of actions he’ll take on his first 100 days as President of the United States. Here, an imagined recreation of his early musings on the subject.

Source: My First 100 Days as President 

No, I Didn’t Forget….

…it’s just that WordPress was acting more like TurdPress yesterday, and I didn’t get around to it.

The last of the “original” Stooges died May 4, 1975, bringing an end to the New New NEW Three Stooges (Howard, Sitka and DeRita).

 

Moe Three Stooges JournalMoe Obituary

Trump vs Trump II

This Donald Trump guy is a real character, alright!

Source: Trump vs Trump II

Okay, I said that I was going to overhaul sixdegreesofstoogeration and turn it into a (sort of) B-movie review site (I know, ANOTHER ONE!), but then I saw this on Something Awful, and it made me laugh.

I’m sure I can connect Donald Trump to the Three Stooges…just give me a moment.

Okay…DONE!

 

  • In 1989, Trump had a cameo in a “movie” titled “Ghosts Can’t Do It.”
  • Said movie also starred one Julie Newmar.
  • Ms. Newmar was in some show called “Batman.”
  • The star of that show, Adam West, also starred in the Three Stooges’ last (released) feature, “The Outlaws IS Coming!” (1965)

(Why, yes, I can connect the Stooges to most anything–why do you ask?)

There are 228 days before the election, or, the number of days before I buy a TV.

It's an accurate depiction of politicians...
Pictured: ALL politicians

I have to get this off of my chest.

I am one of “those” people…well, almost.

You know the ones–the ones that are proud to say that they don’t watch TV.

(Innocent person trying to make conversation) “So, how’d you like the (insert TV related thing here)?”

(Smug TV-free person) “I haven’t watched TV in years! I still don’t know who shot JR!”

I’m definitely not that, and if I’m ever that smug about something other than the Three Stooges being the best comedy team evar, I deserve to have (insert something quirky and non dangerous here).

No, I’m not buying a TV because I’m in no mood to yell “GO TO HELL!!!113!” every time a political commercial comes on. I don’t care if you have a D, R, I, or Z behind your name, I don’t want to hear your ad. I already can’t tell y’all apart, so your dirty tricks won’t work.

Thankfully, we live in an age where you can watch terrible movies (The Giant Spider Invasion, anyone?) at any time, why would you put up with attack ads? Besides, we all know who’s the best candidate for president!

Fine For President!

The B-Movie Scare-A-Thon 2015!

Today’s not only the birthday of THIS GUY:

This is a "Winning" album!
This is a “Winning” album!

But it’s also the 3rd annual B-Movie Scare-A-Thon!  I started it when I was in my first go-round of being between engagements, and seeing as I’m currently between engagements, why not keep it going? (I’ve been unemployed for THREE Halloweens in a row…is someone trying to tell me something?)

Because I always love making up signs, etc., I made up a little something via Canva to celebrate the season:

B Movie Scareathon 2

This year’s lineup includes The Three Stooges (of course!), MST3K’s The Creeping Terror, The Beast of Yucca Flats, Track of the Moon Beast, and The Horrors of Spider Island. Then I decided to go un-MST3K to Larry Buchanan’s It’s Alive! (which almost put me to sleep!)

I need to figure out what the last two movies should be–I think I’ll go Rifftrax or Cinematic Titanic with these.  Let’s see, I could pick The House on Haunted Hill, Kiss of the Tarantula, Frankenstein’s Castle of Freaks, (slightly angry sigh) ONIONS…well, there are lots of movies to choose from…

(MST3K fans will get that joke!)

It’s a Halloween Stooge-a-thon!

Get your spook on with the Stooges!
Get your spook on with the Stooges!

Instead of drowning my unemployment anniversary sorrows with Diet Coke (or Diet Mountain Dew), I’ve decided to laugh in the face of continued in-between-engagement-ism (that’s a perfectly cromulent word!) and get started on my annual Hallowe’en B-movie thon a day early.

The first short on the list Three Pests in a Mess (1945), isn’t technically a “scare” short, but there’s a bit where the fellows run around the Ever-Rest Pet Cemetary with a “body” (actually a dummy that Curly “shot”). It’s funny and fast paced and interestingly, is one of the final shorts Curly would film before his stroke later in 1945. It’s amazing to see how much he aged in a matter of months. Funnily enough, the “old age” of 42 seemed ancient for the Stooges, but 42 now? A mere baby! Maybe people just lived harder back then.

The rest of the list includes the usual “spook” themed shorts, as well as the last short filmed–Flying Saucer Daffy (1957).  It’s a Besser-era short, which is “Niagara Falls!” for some Stooge fans, but you have to admit, Joe Besser was a talented comic, and he could hold his own with Moe and Larry…even though he didn’t really fit. Sometimes that worked (like this short), sometimes it didn’t (the reincarnation shorts).  Then again, after 20+ years, I’m not sure what would’ve worked after the deaths of Curly and Shemp.

Anyhoo, that’s the first half of the Halloween-a-Rama, the second begins tomorrow night!

Better Late Than Never (or, a TRIPLE dose of If It’s the Last Thing I Do!”)

In this entry of “If It’s the Last Thing I Do!” we have a triple header of goodness:  the last Three Stooges short starring Curly Howard; and the last filmed appearance of Curly Howard, and the last pictorial evidence of a filmed appearance by Curly Howard. (I dare you to diagram that sentence!)

Curly's last short
Curly’s last short
Curly's second-to-last filmed appearance
Curly’s second-to-last filmed appearance

Everyone seems to know about the “Hold That Lion!” cameo, but interestingly enough, Curly had a cameo in a later short, “Malice in the Palace” in which he played a very crabby chef! You don’t really notice it’s Curly until you look at the ears (the Horwitz boys had very similar ears!) He was also taller than Moe and Larry, but about the same height as Shemp.

Curly's last TRUE film appearance (yes, the man holding the cleaver IS Curly!)
Curly’s last TRUE film appearance (yes, the man holding the cleaver IS Curly!)

Unfortunately, aside from the one-sheet and anecdotes from the director and Norman Maurer (Moe’s son-in-law, so Curly’s nephew-in-law?) there’s no other “proof.”  (I’ve also heard that this isn’t Curly, and that it’s some other Columbia day player and/or George Lewis. This doesn’t make sense because Lewis was noticeably taller than all of the Stooges, and he had a very distinctive look.)  None of the footage has ever shown up, which makes me wonder what they did with the deleted scenes in shorts and B-movies–did they just throw it away? Did some enterprising studio employee take it for their own collection? Who knows?

If there’s anyone out there sitting on old Stooge footage, send me an e-mail! I won’t buy it, but I would enjoy hearing the story of how you got it!

 

If it’s the last thing I do! (Kook’s Tour, 1970)

Would you believe...that's a non-polluting motor scooter?
Would you believe…that’s a non-polluting motor scooter? You can’t see it, but it’s there!

Greetings, fellow degenerates! It’s time for another IITLTID article, and this one is especially timely, as it ceased filming on this date in 1970.

Kook’s Tour was intended to be a pilot for a comedy/travelogue show with the Three “retired” Stooges wreaking havoc and wrecking everything in their wake. At least that was the plan in 1965. By the time 1970 rolled around, none of the Stooges were particularly thrilled about the thought of flying around the world. Why go to Paris or London, when you can go fishing instead?  With an interesting pollution control theme throughout, Kook’s Tour is not that bad.

The general consensus from most Stooge fans, however, is a resounding Bronx cheer. It’s been called everything from slow to shoddy (yeah, I kinda agree with that one) and sad. I have to disagree on that one–it’s sad because we know what was around the corner.  Taken for what it’s supposed to be, as a home movie from three retired vaudeville/burlesque/film comedians, it’s surprisingly decent. Of course, that doesn’t excuse some of its er, amateurishness (especially in the weird paddleboat scene), but it is what it is, an actual home movie.

Oh, about the whole home movie deal: the film was filmed on regular old whatever mm film home movie enthusiasts used (Super-8, perhaps?) and unfortunately most of the copies deteriorated. There was one lone person out there who had a decent copy and that’s what you see today.

It’s corny, it’s silly, it’s horrendously dated, and it’s odd–a nature film about conservation and pollution from three guys who smoked like chimneys. It’s also incomplete, as Larry had a stroke on January 9, 1970. I don’t know what the rest of the film was supposed to be–I imagine long scenes of natural beauty and why you shouldn’t tie your dog to a tree that’s little more than a sapling (it gets away) were part of the original plan. I also don’t know why it ends with Moe saying, “Sayonara!” as a Chinese gong sounds. (This was a preview of the next episode, which would take place in Japan or China.) I suppose they were hoping against hope that Larry would recover enough to at least appear on camera. It wasn’t to be, and although none of them knew it, the Three Stooges had performed for the last time.  It states in the opening that this is the last known performance of the Stooges,  so unless there’s someone out there with that 1975 Jet Set footage, this is all she wrote.

And with far too much ado…it’s Kook’s Tour!

Happy Christmas, Everyone!

122513_0617_LetsHaveaPa1.jpg

After all, nothing says Christmas like the Three Stooges!

RoadHouseWebPoster

…and Road House!

Sure, it’s the same thing I watched last year, but that’s why it’s a tradition!

Seeing that I’m one of the few people that loses weight during the holidays, I’ve got to think up something, seeing as I don’t drink (and isn’t that what the holidays are for? Drinking?)

Anyhoo, have fun and make sure you watch a bunch of totally stupid movies!