Turns Out I’m Not Bacall’s Biggest FAN

Oh, honey…it’s called sprechstimme (spelling?), not whatever the hell that was. Seriously, I think the song’s in C, but her range seems to be…uh, yeah. This has got to be re-blogged!

Karen Carpenter Died For Your Sins

Lauren Bacall The FanI realized, this very morning, that we have never spoken here of The Fan.

Do you know what that is? Do you? Do you? Because it’s an Important Film.

As it happens, it’s also basically Lauren Bacall’s farewell to stardom. Never again would she be the lead in a film—and certainly never again would she be the object of obsessive desire. (On film, at least.)

In it, she stars as a Broadway star about to make her debut in a musical comedy. And she’s terrified! Compounding her insecurities are her ex-husband, James Garner (he has one scene, but try to prove that to him), and the creepy letters she’s getting from an admirer (dare I say a fan?). And her assistant got slashed up in the subway! And oh my god, these dance routines!

Needless to say, Bacall’s fan is a homosexual. Shocking, I know. Even…

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